finally got my internet back up...

yea so i worked from 6-10 today, which went by quite smoothly, and i actually went straight home after which was a wonder in its own right. Soooo i'm chatting with sees and he actually found the time to setup my my wireless up again and i didn't think he was gonna be able to get done anytime soon, just cuz of the schedule clashing, but in the end i spent my Friday night watching sees set my wireless up and chatting about harry potter to brenda.. lol


p.s it took 3.5 visits from verizon to figure out something they normally do to get the dsl set up right, and one time for me to yell at the filipina operator to let out frustration of the whole situation...... i hate overseas customer service...

I had fun tonight...

Well my post tonight is actually about what i did today... I worked from 11-9 something.. I was actually on time and then some today, whch was odd just cuz i'm atleast twenty mins. Late. Funny how you imagine how i'm always late and don't get in trouble for it.. But in fact, i don't.. La bella has been my second home just cuz i'm always there.. Well whatever it's my life as of now, funny how i recieve more responsibilities just because the health department comes through and speaks about how nasty certain things are around some parts of the kitchen, well whatever, i'm used to getting dumb deeds just cuz of certain situations.. In a nut shell my shift was actually busy because of deliveries and tables i had to run.. I actually made good money through tips, but i wanted to be off by six, which was a no go just cuz everyone decided to come through inside to eat, which reminded me of a friday, just cuz on thursdays are normally slow kinda.. But i wanted to go home because i had one of my best friend's bday celebration, which in fact was fun because of who all was there... My good friends.. Fyi everyone, i'm quite drunq and sitting @ denny's being rude to who i'm having a fourth meal because i just feel like "spilling the beans"... Tonight was interesting because people just happen to be more observant than i think they are.. Well my super bird is almost ready so i'll leave it here for now...


Xoxo- me
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Speaking out loud

Well i'm just lying here tired but i just can't find my way into shutting my eyes and just falling asleep, maybe because i'm just laying thinking about everything. This is probably my first real blog about something more relevant to what i'm really thinking. Yea i'm just beating around the bush about what could be flying around my head.... Viewing everything that's going on in my life just seems pretty routine, basically work and helping around the house when I am home, and of course my friends. Which i have been more at home the last couple months.. Yea i'm not in school or doing something more positive for my future, and i know i'm the conductor to my life. But why do i always let the train stop at everything i get amused about? Life is serious if you take it serious, apparently i'm only 50% committed to what is real.. I know what's best for me. My only real concern is failure, but how do i know i'm going to fail if i don't even apply myself, why is it so hard for me to try when i know i can easily do it? Maybe convncing myself that i can makes me not try, that's just a mask for doubt. A mask i need to take off and just get with it.. As i type and type more my thoughts get more narrow on what i know is lingering in my head. As open as i think i am, i'm truley not, i like to keep things private, well more now that i'm getting older, but closing things out like this just leads me to digging deeper holes tha i may or may not get myself out of. As much i think i don't need help, i'm being stubborn to ask for it.. If you happen to be reading this, i hope you can see how spoiled i've been to think that everything can easily be handed to me, which is totally the oppisite.. "Better late than never" is something i don't want to live by, cuz that'll drag on and i'll just wait wait wait and wait some more.. I believe more on, "get rich or die trying", should be something i should live by. Funny how i'm always up to the challenge for anything, but how come i've never accepted the true challenge, living my life through my expectations? story of my life.. But it doesn't deserve any pity at all, if anyone is to blame, it should be me.. Well this really helped me clear my head and i should keep myself on my toes about the things i know that need to be done..

-ciao bella
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Big ass dump

Omg i'm taking the biggest dump of life, which i'm only saying right now just cuz i'm suprised of the capacity my ass can hold, cuz man i'm looking down and that's a lot of shit.. Well keep you posted..

Xoxo -niv
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Scratch that

I hate to love... =-(
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Friday's thoughts

Well today is Friday, and I'm ready for nothing but work at 5-close which is ghey just because business has slowly been decreasing the past year or so, traffic is a drag to drive in especially when you're trying to make money honey.. well I've come to understanding about a lot of things the last couple months and all i gotta say is, "it's time, it's VADER time".. you ask what that means, it's basically pretty simple, just means to DO WERQ.. like do it already type stuff.. I'm sure this won't be the last blog i post today, but as for now I'd like to off by saying, "don't fight the fear aye" (vatos locos accent) that actually has a lot of meaning to me, weird because I've been fighting the fear for so long, and I'm losing a battle i shouldn't be in.. well I'm off, til next time xoxo-niv

Test 1

Just seeing if it really works
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